race around the mountain

sleepless night!!!!or shall i say morning? too much to do and to littel time! bet that sounds familliar huh?
leaving for Milwaukee in afew hours, need to sleep need to pack. cant pack, havent decided what i will want to wear! going with about 40 people from church to a homeless shelter and work at a free medical clinic and do some other things too. i LOVE doing this! always feel so blessed and makes me appreciate each breath i take so much more. last trip was emotional tough i swear i needed counseling when we got back! ill never forget heather. i think of her and pray for her often, never met someone that had endured the beatings and abuse so severve she had to have surgery to repair her. never saw an ear that looked like a mangled peice of flesh before. we shared a similar story, a kindred soul i guess you could say. she looked dead and hopeless. i had the amazing opportunity to give her a haircut and help her feel beautiful even if it was just for a moment, i did see a flicker of hope. heather where ever you are i wish you well and hope we meet again!!
I feel like i am running laps around this mountain top!! i was laying in bed trying to sleep and my heart was pounding an icould feel this surge of energy running through my body!!! where was it when i was at the gym!!!
oh so much to do! one lap around the mountain!
Just got my Etsy store going for my new boutique called ALTERED EGO!! yeah!!!! i dont really want to use my blog to blab about my new boutique so if you want to check it out from time to time thats cool. i will have art this fall listed, but upcycled clothing is my new fun hobby.
whew lap 2!
My amazing friend Andrea told me her and Perry try to live life without regret. I thought we all kind of did that till i started really thinking about it. so im trying to be more aware of my choices. will i regret the things that are simple if i dont stop for them? kissing my daughters one more time for the 10th time as im heaed out the door? or how about 2 stories and a song before bed instead of just 1? what reaaly matters most to me? what do i want people to remeber me for when i die? big things i know, but its in my hea all the time!
weeeeeeee lap number 3!
i think Matt is going to propose to me soon! i love being in love! but its so close i can almost taste it!! im always wondering waiting expecting hoping!! it has to be soon, we have been looking for houses and WE FOUND THE ONE!!!! tonight well actually last night! uggghhh 2 houses to sell so we can but this one! its a dream house! i can even have a littel dog!!YEAH! Matt said she has to wear socks on the floors!! hahah
lap 4!!!!! im burning calories now!!!
my fantastic friend Renee is getting close to getting my book done!! EXCITING!! but also NERVEWRACKING!!!! what will people think? oh who cares! is what i want to say, but its dark, raw edgy.sad, heart breaking, hopeless, then it becomes tearful and joyful!!!! healing oh glorious healing!! full of art and poetry!! beauty and forgiveness!! its my life in a book, now for the world to see to hear to judge! will i be shamed and feel shameful?will my family turn away? what about my clients and my friends, did they really ever know the real me? do we ever really know the real us? im anxious, happy, fearful, intimadated, all at the same time!!!
wow thats a long sprint around the mountain for sure!
why do i get like this? i shoul not worry!!!! for i know the plans i have for you declares the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future!!!
im not a preacher, i just beleive, and i feel it. so off to bed i go!! not to worry about the suitcase or the house or the proposal or checking and sending emails or what people think of me,or my book ,or worrying about the load of clothes in the dryer! i have found a nice grassy knoll on the hillside and will enjoy the breeze as i drift off to sleep for the next 3 hours that i have. i feel a sense of calmness now, thank you.
thankk you for coming alongside of me on this journey, i cant wait to see where it leads each and everyone of us! for me it will be at the coffee shop at 630 am for a nonfat lattee!