Colors of the Lord

 Do you ever feel that feeling that you have bitten off more than you can chew? My head is overloaded with ideas, words, and colors and it's all swirling around faster than I can grab on to. Each one feels disconnected but yet connected.
I asked The Lord to fill my heart with the words and for them to flow effortlessly onto my computer screen and let the art work come easily and to organize it in my brain because I can't.
I see it all .especially the art work, I see the images , the colors and the text. But when I go to create it, it never turns out like in my head, I am not a 'real' artist. It can be so frustrating! Why did The Lord put this desire in me, why did He tell me to pick up the brush and paint, why doesn't He just give me a supernatural talent to know how to use all the different techniques, mediums, and forms?
 
Many years ago when I gave my life to The Lord I was struggling with so much hurt that I didn't know what to do with ( you can read my full story in Secrets of the Soul or hear my story on my web page) The Lord spoke quietly into my heart and told me to paint what I could not say and what I could not feel. I had no idea how to paint or what to paint with. So I bought all the paint in every color and medium! I really thought at first when I got home to paint that I would have had this amazing ability to create world famous works of art and that I would be a famous and wealthy artist! That's not exactly what happened, after many failed attempts at my art, I asked God if I heard Him right, was I crazy , was He crazy? Very calmly in my heart He spoke “paint what you can not say, what you can not feel” but how do you paint that? I put on my favorite worship music, I closed my eyes, prayed, asked Him help me. When I was done, I looked at my canvas and for the first time I saw that my feelings were real, and equally as important was that I did have feelings and they mattered to God, The Creator.
As I ask I hear the answer, "so people will know it's not me, so people can see the colors of The Lord, so it is not me that gets applauded " and it is my time, a special time for me to connect with The Lord, I put on my favorite worship music, I pray, I ask God to guide my hand, to be so close I can feel His breath on my cheek, I ask him to fill my canvas with His beauty.I ask Him to use me to bring hope to the hurting. To open my eyes to what He sees, to have compassion to those around me, to be His hands and feet here on earth .
As I write this this song comes on        All I need is you by Hillsong United

Left my fear by the side of the road
Hear You speak
Won't let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray
Got every reason to be here again
Father's love that draws me in
And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You
All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is you Lord
One more day and it's not the same
Your spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Saviour once again
Where would my soul be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You're watching over me
All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord
You hold the universe
You hold everyone on earth
You hold the universe
You hold
You hold
All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord

All I need is you  Lord, it doesn't really matter what I have for talent or ability, when I stop long enough to listen ,to ask You in ,not just to my life but ask you into my art studio, to say "ok this is what I see in my mind, these are the colors I see, place your hand on mine and move the brush, create through me and while you're at it create in me a clean heart that lives only to glorify you" . Then whatever the outcome of that canvas it is ours and that is enough for me.
And these words? These words that are all mixed up inside my head that I feel pressing in my chest, that I see falling off my finger tips, flowing out of my heart faster than I can write, I will trust you to organize them for me . Yes I will trust you. And I am strangely relieved that I have no artistic talent without you there next to me guiding me. All I need is You Lord, You to guide me, You to lead me , You to walk along side of me, All I need is You Lord, to breathe into me the colors of the universe that You hold in Your hands so I can exhale Your unfaded creation.
As you listen to this song, close your eyes, what is the fear that you need to leave by the side of the road? What colors do you see?
There is a quote by William Wordsworth that I love it says simply “ Fill your papers with the breathings of your heart”
As you inhale marvel in the beauty of all that The Lord has created, exhale onto your paper the beauty of His unfaded creation.
Take this time to reflect , let The Creator create through you the breathings of your heart.
Link to song
http://us.yhs4.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?hspart=ironsource&hsimp=yhs-fullyhosted_003&type=dsites0101&p=all+i+need+is+you+hillsong