The battle starts in your mind

The battle begins in the mind. I will NOT be a prisoner.

These are the words I posted to Facebook while at the gym . I was listening the  band Seventh Day Slumber, a song called Wasted Life, the lyrics The battle starts in your mind

Then straight to the soul
It can leave  you breathless

I was thinking more about my stuggel with weightloss and fitness, then Perry texted me and asked me to share a part of my story from the Bible veres of Matthew 9 9-13, he said they were about freedom and inviting others. 

The song ends with the lyrics 

A wasted life was the road that I was on
I was running blind into the unknown
Just in the nick of time you found me at my worst
And brought me home

When there was no way out
You found me in the darkest place
Just as I start to fade
I hear your voice, it's calling me
Saying, "You are not alone.
I'm here to break these chains and take you home."

I listen to this band and i feel like most of the songs were written for me, about me. I have felt breathless from the battle in my mind, I lived a very long time just existing not living, I looked alive . i had perfected being fake, its all in apperance, but you can only do that for so long before the masqurade is done, and the mask you wear starts to crack

At that point i was liviing in a coma, i was alive, but just barely, i didnt want to live but i didnt want to die. i was comatose  My mind was a battelground of lies, and dispair. I wanted to be free from it . But 

i didnt know how, I had given my life to God several years before this, and I would go through periods of time where my mind kept me in a prison.. 

God spoke to my heart to paint and to write.  Paint what i could not say, what i could not feel. This put me on a journey that has led me to where i am today,

I am at the table with the tax collectors and the sinners, but I'm not eating alone, Jesus is there at the head of the table. He is not there to ridicule me or to remind me of the mistakes i have made or to make me feel bad for the things in my life  that ive done or have been done to me. Hes there at my table to give me the bread of life , He is my water  that will quench my thirst and cleanse my soul. I dont have to listen to the lies of the enemy anymore, I have been set free.

I want everyone to feel this freedom, I so desire that everyone would come to this table of sinners and see Jesus as He really is, For His love and for 

his peace, and for His friendship.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRYicjorR4U

This is the video link to the song Wasted Life