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Friday, September 16, 2011

sleepless nights

sleepless night!! well actully morning! i have so much to do and so littel time! bet that sounds familiar huh?! i was laying in bed and my heart is pounding and i can feel this EXCITEMENT running through me almost like its a  drug!! I think i have run up the mountaina nd am running laps around the top!! only if i had that same energy when i was at the gym this week!!!
Leaving for Milwaukee at 8 am and half packed. how can i pack the night before, im not sure what ill want to wear the next few days yet! it will be a fun trip, about 40 of us from church are going down to help in a homeless shelter and free medical clinic and a bunch of other stuff, i LOVE doing things like this. definately brings me back to reality to see my many many blessings and appreciate my life somuch more than i allreay do. My friend Andrea told me her and Perry try to live without regret. i like that concept. Will i regret it if i dont do  this or say this to someone? will iregret it later if i do or dont buy this or eat this or not kiss my aughters one more time befoe i leave for work.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Day 13 under my skin

This is the day the LORD has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
Day 13
Giving thanks everyday( even in the small things) whatever life brings.
 Yes. I know, really behind AGAIN! but this is a new day and after a full day at a conference on blogging, i realize I really LOVE blogging! So I am going to not miss my daily blog, anymore!
Today I am thankful for creativity and fun and laughter. I am surrounded by artist this weekend and like all people we have a story, a journey, we all conect somehow.
We connect in person or through stories and sometimes secrets. Secrets that are shouting louder  and louder and yet they go unheard.
My story.what is it really? what am i? who am I? I talk about that in my bio, but its really on my heart tonight. Sometimes I feel like one thing and others another. I assume thats normal, but do i really want to be normal? Hmmmm
How do I want to be known? As a mom? thats very general and to most probably boring. A hairdresser? Well I love my career but as my identity?  Friend? Yes I am a friend, but I think I need more. Not a description but really Who am I?
 Me, Destiny. I am a survivor, abused as a child. But do I want to be branded that way? Seems so taboo. But what I have been learning and discovering is what I have been through, has shaped and molded who I have become and that keeps changing and evolving too. I really have started to like me. But I dont have a LIKE button.!( And i think I am pretty funny sometimes!)
 I love to write, I love words, I like paper, collaging,journaling,painting,But i do it best and freely about pain,suffering,overcoming.
Shame. Sometimes I have a fear of feeling shame, what will people think of me if they know? What will you think?What would you say to me or behind me if you knew my 'real' story.

under my skin
raw gritty blood
flows through my veins
pulsating heat
shadows in my head
burn into my eyes

If I was home I would paint this. Thats what I do, paint my fear. paint my past, paint my story. I paint whats under my skin. Its what i know.
You can follow my other blog ajourneywithdestiny as well , I like to keep this one for rejoicing and the other, well it is the other side of me, and now twitter. this will be interesting.
Just know that I am a real person with real feelings and I understand more than you think. do you really want to know whats under my skin? Then follow me on this journey and take me with you on yours and together we can survive and breathe knowing that the sunrise is just peeking over the mountain and we dont want to miss it.

Thank you God so much for my story, how i wish i would never of had to endure and suffer the agony i have, how i wish no one ever had to, but thank you for giving me courage and a heart to feel and a canvas to paint any way i want, help me to continually heal and feel free of shame, amen

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today i will rejoice: savoring life like a white chocolate passionfruit ...

today i will rejoice: savoring life like a white chocolate passionfruit ...: this is the day the Lord has made and i will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 The biggest challenge of this 6 month challenge to ...

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing, to the cleansing

journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing, to the cleansing: the wound is deep flesh has rotted away infection is spreading is anything worth saving? anything viable? is it all dead? or is it only ...

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing. Part 1

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing. Part 1: journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing. Part 1 : Arise from the ashes. I can feel my chest rise and fall. Sunlight blinds me, burning my eye...

Monday, September 12, 2011

Journey to healing, to the cleansing

the wound is deep
flesh has rotted away
infection is spreading
is anything worth saving? anything viable?
is it all dead? or is it only distorted?
BLOOD
its dripping down
drip,drip,drip
my heart is beating faster
with each beat in  rythmatic tone the blood flows
splashing to the ground
the wound is messy, unclean
it needs to be tied off to stop the flow
PANIC
how do i stop it?
head is spinning, thoughts crash into one
FOCUS
images are a blur
shadows fill my eyes,but i see you
i see you, off in the distance, lurking
but i feel your breath close on my skin
VILE
putrid stench on your tongue
whispering lies,full of deciet
SHIVERS
cover me
your crushing my soul,shattering like glass
SHARDS
tear at my wound
emedding into the rotted flesh
more to clean
more pain,agonizing pain
the pieces need to be scrapped out, picked out one by one,even before the cleansing
my inner being CRIES OUT!!! NO MORE!!!
just leave me here

Thursday, September 8, 2011

journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing. Part 1

journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing. Part 1: Arise from the ashes. I can feel my chest rise and fall. Sunlight blinds me, burning my eyes. Raw throat. Broken body.Bruised. Shatttered...

journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing. Part 1

journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing. Part 1: Arise from the ashes. I can feel my chest rise and fall. Sunlight blinds me, burning my eyes. Raw throat. Broken body.Bruised. Shatttered...

journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing. Part 1

journeywithdestiny: Journey to healing. Part 1: Arise from the ashes. I can feel my chest rise and fall. Sunlight blinds me, burning my eyes. Raw throat. Broken body.Bruised. Shatttered...

Journey to healing. Part 1

Arise from the ashes. I can feel my chest rise and fall.
 Sunlight blinds me, burning my eyes.
Raw throat. Broken body.Bruised. Shatttered heart.
Empty soul. Dread in the pit of my stomach.
Bile fills my mouth.
These are good things I realize, good because it is a sign of life. I am still alive.
This is where the healing has to begins, the wounds have to be healed. But before the healing, the cleansing. Dread because of healing? Fear.
Chaos inside me oddly brings a sense of calm. Famailiarity I suppose.
Healing, is it worth it? Worth the cost?
Am I worth the cost? Or the time?
Change. Who will I become? Who will I be? What will I become? Will I endure it?
Survive. I survived the tragedy. I survived the abuse. Barely. But I did.
Survive. Survive the healing? Will I?Should I?Survive.
Ridicule.Slander.Mockery. My enemies, over time became my friends.
Shame.Fear.Sleeplessness.Isolation. Enemies you keep closer than friends.
They must leave.They bring nothing of worth.Shame reminds me of that,so we stay friends.
Sleeplessness brings his best friend,Fear.
They come together to visit at night,invading my dreams,sitting on my bed.
Mockery is never left out,usually I here him in the distance.
I don't want these friends anymore. Part of me is afraid for them to leave though.
I don't want to be alone.Who will come?
Lonliness is a friend but always brings Sadness.
Healing feels like an infection. A blistering puss filled sore. It has to be drained and cleaned. Having it touch anything sends pain throughout my entire body, every nerve ending goes from numb to fully alive within moments.
Oozing.Putrid.Infectious tissue.
Senses come alive.Nostrils flair in convulsions.Eyes water.Ears are pounding from the sound of my heart.
Yes this is life.My life right now.
Just breathe the cleansing air.
Survive.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: bitter taste of agony 3

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: bitter taste of agony 3: "journeywithdestiny: bitter taste of agony 3 : 'Im here. BARELY. but im here. the BITTER taste of AGONY drips from my tongue. i close my eyes..."

Friday, August 12, 2011

journeywithdestiny: bitter taste of agony 3

journeywithdestiny: bitter taste of agony 3: "Im here. BARELY. but im here. the BITTER taste of AGONY drips from my tongue. i close my eyes to see everything dissapear fading into dark..."

bitter taste of agony 3

Im here. BARELY. but im here. the BITTER taste of AGONY drips from my tongue.
i close my eyes to see everything dissapear
fading into darkness
just like me
falling faster and faster
oddly its in slow motion
everything is just beyond my reach
alone, imprisoned by my own life
shackeled by my own fear
suffocating with shame
vomitting with scorn
maddened by the silence
completely raw
numb to this life.

These last 3 post seem to be so dark so depressing, please dont worry i am happy and  well!! this is a littel preview to the book    i wrote that is in the process of being in your hands sometime soon.
My book is raw and gritty, painful. But that is what makes the 2nd half so amazing and worth the risk of bareing my heart, my soul my pain, my life ,worth the risk of being 'exposed'. i love a joyful triumphant ending! But if i can bring hope to the hurting, a little light in this dark world, and just a little comfort to someone who thinks they are alone to assure them they are not , even if it's just one person, that is enough for me, that and knowing that i have said yes to God and letting him in to heal and knit together a heartfelt true story of hurt, abuse, shame, etc. into overcoming, courage, strength but not without a few tears and fists in the air along the way! oh and i almost forgot to add FORGIVENESS.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2: "journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2 : 'swilerring voices around me, mocking laughter in the distance , the smell of musty dirt fills my no..."

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2: "journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2 : 'swilerring voices around me, mocking laughter in the distance , the smell of musty dirt fills my no..."

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2: "journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2 : 'swilerring voices around me, mocking laughter in the distance , the smell of musty dirt fills my no..."

journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2

journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat 2: "swilerring voices around me, mocking laughter in the distance , the smell of musty dirt fills my nostrils, am i dead? no i cant be, death sh..."

agony of defeat 2

swilerring voices around me, mocking laughter in the distance , the smell of musty dirt fills my nostrils, am i dead? no i cant be, death shouldnt hurt this much. am i in a dream? this must be a nightmare, im very much alive even though i feel dead inside, comatose. i lift my head out of the dirt, eyes are swollen,  i can hardly see, the tears are gone, vision is clouded by the mud that has caked to my face and fills my eyes. thirsty.
the laughter is louder now, its coming closer. its coming for me! Panic. terror floods through me! i need to leave.i try to stand, ny crumpled body is of no use, hElp me! screaming. shouting.. screaming into my own silence my throat is blistering, warm liquid fills my mouth, quench this thirst, disgust, blood on my tongue. im bleeding, sign of life. I AM STILL ALIVE! i can not be left here in the agony of defeat. rise up and walk, just rise up. the chains pull me back down, no!! rise up and walk!my body is so weak. keep fighting!lunging forward, the chains cut deep into my swollen flesh! mockery is louder, even though its a whisper. cold breath rolls across my shoulder, i can taste the bitter vile as it envelops all around me. its overpowering, i can not overcome, he has won again! falling to the ground to my defeat i realize there is a will inside that wants to survive! FALLING falling into blackness, why havent i hit the ground? falling fASTER  im desperate to live, theses chains are all that hold me, i reach, grabbing the hot metal that scorches my hand, sears my flesh,  i must climb up, its the only way. gentle whisper, let me help you, NO!!! YOU watched me fall and suffer and LET it happen, ill do this without you!!!! where was your protection? now you want to rescue? how dare you!! the pain, next hand grabs the chains, hands are bloody. ripped ragged, raw, flesh is burnt away. keep climbing. the pain is unbearable, putrid smell. i need help, but not from you. ANYONE!!! ridicule from the pit, youll never make it. there is still fight inside of me! climbing up the chains, hand over hand, pain is excruicating, i must go on! finally to the top i roll into  the filth despeate to be free. theres that whisper again, let me help you, i love you. NO!!! not you, you abandoned me!!! anyone but you! nothing left to my arms, the chains ate them away, burned aaway  the flesh, i slip them off over my bony tips and im FREE! run! RUN!!! run! i start to run, faster now, where is the light?desperate to live!! where do i go? i see a crack ahead!! get to it! i reach the light as i reach out to breathe somerthing grabs my ankels! CHAINS!! NO!! dont take me back!! clawing at the walls i cant get ahold as whats left  of my hands shATTERS! mockery, laughter, cruelty, hot chains of agony wrap around my ankels dragging me back into the darkness , searing burnt flesh fills my nostrills. dispair, i was so close, how has this become my life that is the death of me?

Monday, August 1, 2011

journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat

journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat: "Clouds roll in overhead, swilerring faster and faster, the fog is thick, i try to breathe but its choking me. GUILT. it consumes me to my ve..."

Friday, July 29, 2011

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat

journeywithdestiny: journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat: "journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat : 'Clouds roll in overhead, swilerring faster and faster, the fog is thick, i try to breathe but its cho..."

Thursday, July 28, 2011

journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat

journeywithdestiny: agony of defeat: "Clouds roll in overhead, swilerring faster and faster, the fog is thick, i try to breathe but its choking me. GUILT. it consumes me to my ve..."

agony of defeat

Clouds roll in overhead, swilerring faster and faster, the fog is thick, i try to breathe but its choking me. GUILT. it consumes me to my very core. it dances around me like a rope ready to tie a noose. my ankels are shackeled, heavy chains tear through my skin. SHAME.  eachone pulling, each one harder, then the low growling voice "come with me". where?  i want to be free. please dont take me! sinking my fingers into the mountain side, clawing to safety, the noose is tighter, the chains pull harder, NO!!! i dont want to leave the mountain top! FASTER and FASTER im being drug down, violently down the mountain, smashing into boulders. leaving behind peices of me, twisted and shattered there is my soul bleeding whats left. seeing smiling faces as i go past, cant you see me? cant you hear my silent screams? no one can save me but me. shame and guilt. they are not my friends, they visit often but are never welcomed, they show up when least expected and stay to long. when their time has passed and ive unpacked the last bag they are back almost before its on the shelf. why cant they just leave never to return, I hear a still small voice "the truth shall set you free" the truth of who i am, what ive done can never set me free.
i look around and make out the faint images around me. im deep in the mountain. ina cave. damp, musty,air is thick but without oxygen. weary. tired. oh so tired. i want to sleep but there is no rest here,guilt keeps eating away,one peice of me at a time,leaving my heart exposed raw and bloody, its eating me alive! shame becomes heavier, the chains are weighted on my ankles with more weight, i cant even stand, i lift my hand to brush away the tears that are slowly sliding down my face and cant. heavy chains have shackled my arms, the weight is so heavy i can not barely move. im kicked to the ground with burdeons on my back so heavy i collapse, face to the ground all i can taste is dirt , bitterness as i swallow the agony of defeat.
how long have i been here? how much longer will i stay?

Monday, June 27, 2011

Sunday, June 26, 2011

journeywithdestiny: the journey begins 2

journeywithdestiny: the journey begins 2: "the more i start to visualize my life as this journey on the mountain its pretty amazing at all the places ive been! ive been on the top alo..."

journeywithdestiny: race around the mountain

journeywithdestiny: race around the mountain: "sleepless night!!!!or shall i say morning? too much to do and to littel time! bet that sounds familliar huh? leaving for Milwaukee in afew ..."

journeywithdestiny: crying out from the wilderness

journeywithdestiny: crying out from the wilderness: "bags are packed. snacks are packed. hit the drive through for a coffee, and off we go! off we go,39 of us to change the world! leaving small..."

crying out from the wilderness

bags are packed. snacks are packed. hit the drive through for a coffee, and off we go! off we go,39 of us to change the world! leaving small town wisconsin to the inner citiie of Milwaukee. Admist the singing and laughing an talking with friends about summer plans and vacations and finances and car payments my mind is somewhere else. i can here a faint crying, its usually there in the back of my head somewhere, but its a littel more noticable now. our trip is simple. meet up at a church and they have already set us up with food pantries,soup kitchens, homeless shelters, womans shelters, and other events.
the plan is to bless theses people, show them some love and then come back home to my nice car, comfy bed, and a refrigarator full of food that ill have to toss the fruit i left over the weekend, but i know ill just go to the store in the morning.
but thats not what really happens. you know that if you have ever been on any kind of a mission trip or to a soup kitchen, what really happens is as you are serving and blessing, you become blessed and your heart breaks and your life is changed, for the better.
FRIDAY
we show up at St. Bens to serve, suprisingly 4 other teams do as well, they are over staffe for the HUNDREDS of HUNGRY people. so we are told to get in line and mingle and get a meal tickett and dine with the homeless. so we do. many faces many stories, some look sad, empty, shamefull, hopeless, others are smiling, happy joking, even joyful. and i think to myself, there is no difference here. i am that person ,
i know shame, i unerstand guilt, i am well acquainted with emptiness. i remember that time in the wilderness all to well. and i can hear them crying out and it saddens me,.
we get are food, i think its meat loaf i have a baked potatoe there is no butter, its dry. i want a cofee but there is no cream. something so simple. wow, no controll no say as to what i eat or drink, i should just be greatful i had a meal.
i meet a man who was shot in the face. his name is John. Johs face ha a hole in it, cheek was shattered. lived on the street 15 years, robbery, he had nothing to rob. john told me it was the best thing that ever happened. it renewed his faith, brought him back to god, and 5 years sobriety an a home and a wife.
SATURDAY
150 peanut butter sandwhiches made to hand out in the parks to people who have nothing.
repairs of the Breech. hygeine kits, food clothes, safety. testimonies of lives transformed. medical clinic, haircuts, back to the church to prepare a meal for a womans and family shelter, thry have no stoves so no meal unless one is brought.
the crying is louder now. not only o i hear it but i can see it, smell it almost taste it, its so clear, woman just barely hanging on, fleeing abusive men, trying to kick drugs and get sober, dragging their kids from shelters to the street , i sit to eat with them,a nd i realize, this could of been me, my kids, my mom, any of us.
everyone here is crying out, screaming at the top of their lungs and no one can hear them, most dont even see them, almost invisible.
i have screamed so loud i thought i would burst and not a sound came out, my soul has cringed from anguish and bled out in dispair, my heart shattered into a million pieces, leaving splinters everywhere it fell, dignity stolen, innocence ripped away, leaving nothing but broken emptiness heaped on the floor, and noone heard, no one could see, no one could see me for what i really was.
so i am famillar with that cry that comes from the wilderness
our team spread out all over the city and touched hundres of people. i know i cant change the world,but if i can just change it for one person , thats enough for now, one person at a time.
there is hope
there is life beyond the wilderness.
it can be hard if the forrest is thick an it is dark, but a littel light to light your path, one step at a time,and a hand to take yours to not lead you but pick you up when you stumble, that will guide you out of the wilderness to a path that leads to the top of this mountain.
HOME
ahhhhh home sweet home. stopped at he outlet malls, antique stores and the coffee shop. seems so pointless as i can still hear the crys from the wilderness. i really want to turn back around and stay for awhile, spread a blanket out under a tree an have a picnic in the wilderness with those women at the shelter, i want to listen and know them, i want to cry with them not for them, i want them to know they are not alone, that they are heard that i can hear them. i want to hold christys hand and wipe her tears away and tell her that there is another place, a place where she can get back up on her feet and stand, a palce she can raise her hands and feel the rush of wind all around her and just feel free, a place where the tears wash away the dirtiness, and the filth and cleanse not just your body but your mind, heal your heart redeem your soul , to know that she is WORTHY of so much more, we all are.
i am thankfull i no longer live in that place!! and i am thankfull and humbled that i stilll hear my old home, i never want to be so far away that i forget an d pretend it dosent exist, they re are alot of people there and alot of healing to take place, a life with more abundance than what the wilderness offers.
journey with me as i walk to and from the wilderness to pick up a backpack or two so i can walk with all the christys i meet along the way, what a glorious dayit will be to watch her first sunrise from the mountain top!!
who is the christy in your life?  you may be suprised. see you all at the top, travel safely!

Friday, June 24, 2011

race around the mountain

sleepless night!!!!or shall i say morning? too much to do and to littel time! bet that sounds familliar huh?
leaving for Milwaukee in afew hours, need to sleep need to pack. cant pack, havent decided what i will want to wear! going with about 40 people from church to a homeless shelter and work at a free medical clinic and do some other things too. i LOVE doing this! always feel so blessed and makes me appreciate each breath i take so much more. last trip was emotional tough i swear i needed counseling when we got back! ill never forget heather. i think of her and pray for her often, never met someone that had endured the beatings and abuse so severve she had to have surgery to repair her. never saw an ear that looked like a mangled peice of flesh before. we shared a similar story, a kindred soul i guess you could say. she looked dead and hopeless. i had the amazing opportunity to give her a haircut and help her feel beautiful even if it was just for a moment, i did see a flicker of hope. heather where ever you are i wish you well and hope we meet again!!
I feel like i am running laps around this mountain top!! i was laying in bed trying to sleep and my heart was pounding an icould feel this surge of energy running through my body!!! where was it when i was at the gym!!!
oh so much to do! one lap around the mountain!
Just got my Etsy store going for my new boutique called ALTERED EGO!! yeah!!!! i dont really want to use my blog to blab about my new boutique so if you want to check it out from time to time thats cool. i will have art this fall listed, but upcycled clothing is my new fun hobby.
whew lap 2!
My amazing friend Andrea told me her and Perry try to live life without regret. I thought we all kind of did that till i started really thinking about it. so im trying to be more aware of my choices. will i regret the things that are simple if i dont stop for them? kissing my daughters one more time for the 10th time as im heaed out the door? or how about 2 stories and a song before bed instead of just 1? what reaaly matters most to me? what do i want people to remeber me for when i die? big things i know, but its in my hea all the time!
weeeeeeee lap number 3!
i think Matt is going to propose to me soon! i love being in love! but its so close i can almost taste it!! im always wondering waiting expecting hoping!! it has to be soon, we have been looking for houses and WE FOUND THE ONE!!!! tonight well actually last night! uggghhh 2 houses to sell so we can but this one! its a dream house! i can even have a littel dog!!YEAH! Matt said she has to wear socks on the floors!! hahah
lap 4!!!!! im burning calories now!!!
my fantastic friend Renee is getting close to getting my book done!! EXCITING!! but also NERVEWRACKING!!!! what will people think? oh who cares! is what i want to say, but its dark, raw edgy.sad, heart breaking, hopeless, then it becomes tearful and joyful!!!! healing oh glorious healing!! full of art and poetry!! beauty and forgiveness!! its my life in a book, now for the world to see to hear to judge! will i be shamed and feel shameful?will my family turn away? what about my clients and my friends, did they really ever know the real me? do we ever really know the real us? im anxious, happy, fearful, intimadated, all at the same time!!!
wow thats a long sprint around the mountain for sure!
why do i get like this? i shoul not worry!!!! for i know the plans i have for you declares the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future!!!
im not a preacher, i just beleive, and i feel it. so off to bed i go!! not to worry about the suitcase or the house or the proposal or checking and sending emails or what people think of me,or my book ,or worrying about the load of clothes in the dryer! i have found a nice grassy knoll on the hillside and will enjoy the breeze as i drift off to sleep for the next 3 hours that i have. i feel a sense of calmness now, thank you.
thankk you for coming alongside of me on this journey, i cant wait to see where it leads each and everyone of us! for me it will be at the coffee shop at 630 am for a nonfat lattee!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

the journey begins 2

the more i start to visualize my life as this journey on the mountain its pretty amazing at all the places ive been! ive been on the top alot, and a few times i was lost wondering around in a forrest, (not so much fun, theres alot of bugs there!) ive fallen off a cliff a few times, that was painful, was lost in a canyon once or twice or a hundred times! at the time it was a litttel scary but in the end what an adventure! fell in quick sand a time or two (who knew there was quick sand in the valley), that was a struggel, i had ti fight hard to keep my head above to survive. Yep this mountain has alot of places and i havent discovered all of them yet im sure.
so today i feel like ive been on top of the mountain for awhile now, makes me a littel nervous because as ive learned this time is usually short lived (kind of like a vacation!) but not to worry, im going to embrace every breath, every moment, every bird that flies by, all the colors of the sky, i can see my self standing in the wind as it blows around me, my hair all around , hands in the air and ahhhhh.... just breathe.
I think i will be making a littel trip down the mountain side shortly, i wont be there long, just long enough to pick up a few people i know . they are there right now filling there treasure chest of memories with a few pebbles and a rock or two.maybe a boulder, but its easier to fit and carry when you chip it to pieces and its easier when there is another pick axe. then after they are all placed gently in the treasue chest we will stop bythe river to cleanse them, not with the river water but with many tears as it seems to cleanse the soul and refresh the weary mind and body. then we will journey together up the mountain and embrace the beauty of not only the sunrise as the new day approaches but but the beautiful bond of friendship and love.
even as i prepare for this trip i still feel like my feet are up on top of the mountain still, i have a renewed strenght in meand i feel at peace.

wow. life is interesting ! this isnt even what i was gonna talk about! see.. open book, i knew it, 2 days on a blog and already mushy!i wanted to tell a funny story. i have been sewing like crazy!! and creating these AWESOME jean skirts , upcyling clothing is my new thing for now, and i wanted to have  1000 to sell for Country Jam, well in a hurry for the 2nd time now i sewed the seems together! i stitched in some fun fabric on the hem and topped it off with lace, well after i ripped it all out i did it again!! uggh then i sewed a fabric patch on the back and had the hem underneath and yep sewed the hem to the butt! so if you havea friend without legs and only half a butt i have the perfect skirt for them!!!
goodnight!! and thank you for reading and going on this journey with me, hope to see you as i make a quick trip down on your way up!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

the journey begins 1

hello! this is my first time blogging ever! so we will start with the disclaimers!! as you can already see im not great with  puncuation and propper grammar,it drives my oldest daughter CRAZY!! i just write how i talk,(and yes i admit i still use 2 fingers to type!)
Ok, so whats my purpose for this blog? i guess i have a ton of different things going on in my life and i think someone other than matt ( my true love) would be good to talk too! primarly i wanted to use this as a creative outlet and for my 2 buisnessess, but my life is led like an open book. i dont do it on purpose, it just happens that way! Just come to my hair salon and a few visits we will be fantastic friends, guaranteed!
so i believe i have named this blog appropiately journey with destiny. life is a journey. i love the twisting winding paths and climbling those mountains to see the most amazing sunset or sunrise ever! but to climb that mountain we have to start in the valley. not always my favorite place to be. but once you have the strength to walk up the path that leads to the mountain , eventually you will see above the fog. thats when it gets exciting looking back on that climb and thats where all the stories of life are. precious treasures those stories are!
So if my grammar dosent give you the hives, journey along side of me. i cant wait to see where it leads!!